Leading People On

We’ve all done it. We like the attention, or are scared to be alone, so we allow someone to invest their time in us without being clear about where things are going. It ain’t cute, and it ain’t kind. So once that pang of guilt hits (which it inevitably will), how do you let them down gently? I’ll give you the words:

“Hey! I want to be honest with you about where I’m at. I really like you and think you are such a great person, but I’m not looking for a relationship with you right now. I just want to make sure we are on the same page moving forward (OR) I think its best for both of us if I distance myself a bit”.

It’s simple, kind, and honest. It opens the floor for them to say how they feel, or to simply say “fair enough” and move on. I know breaking it off sucks, but trust me: the sooner the better. Don’t waste people’s time. I had a chat with a friend recently who said that another way to go is just to say that an old fling has come back in your life and you’d be kicking yourself forever if you didn’t give it a try. Technically it’s lying, but it’s sort of a ‘white lie’ – right? I’m not sure how I feel about it; I prefer to be brutally honest, but I also see the allure of saving someone’s feelings 100% so they don’t feel rejected. Either way, if you know it’s not going to work, you owe it to the other person (and to yourself) to let them move on. I know its hard, but sending that text is that hardest part and you’ll feel much better for it!

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