When Your Ex Moves On

I’m sure we’ve all been there. You’re feeling great, going about your day, then one little scroll ruins your whole mood: you look down, and there is your ex smiling back at you with his arms around his new girlfriend. I get it, it hurts. It may be years later, you may even be happy in a new relationship, but don’t feel ashamed of that hurt. It’s natural, and we all feel it.

So how do you move past that feeling of sadness? What it comes down to, is really believing and trusting deep down in your soul that the breakup was for the best. I know your mind is running a million miles a minute, and that that faint hope that you might get back together may feel crushed, but you need to believe that you are on a better path. If you and your ex weren’t both actively fighting for each other, you weren’t meant to be. You need to feel that in your bones, and lift yourself out this funk because the “what could have been” game does nobody any good. Look up, look forward, and move on. If your emotional reaction is overwhelming, it may even be worth “muting” his posts; don’t put yourself through unnecessary suffering.

Moving forward, the best thing that you can do is get yourself motivated. Nothing lifts your mood better than feeling like you are accomplishing your goals, so write out a list of three things you want to accomplish this year, and start working towards them. Even if the #1 thing is as simple as “read ten books”, make a plan to stop by a bookshop on your way home. I know the advice “focus on yourself” probably makes you want to throw your laptop on the floor, but it’s a cliche for a reason: there is no better medicine. Who knows, maybe this new relationship may be a wake-up call, and if he comes crawling back you want to be in your best place possible to decide if HE is deserves YOU.

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